Today, bears started lumbering down Main Street in Gunnison. People were trying to shoo them away, however, the bears persisted and continued their mysterious mission. Then the unexpected happened! One eyewitness states,
They [the bears] started lumbering into Piezans and eating all the pizza! Next thing there were bears in Marios! Then Dominoes! Another eyewitness claims,
I always thought there would be an alien invasion one day, not a bear invasion!
If the bears had kept ransacking the local pizza restaurants, there would have been a pizza shortage on our hands. Chaos took over the streets. Some people were screaming in panic. Others were trying to get rid of these new invaders with any means possible. The streets were filled with loud music, blowing whistles, banging pots and pans, and overall a ruckus in attempt to shoo those pizza-eating-bears away!
Then, surprisingly, everyone stopped in their tracks. Through the Piezans windows, spectators could see a couple of cubs chasing each other around a table. But what was more spectacular, is the mama bear, with a chefs hat atop its head, twirling pizza dough on its paw! Suddenly, all the bears froze in their tracks, too, and people looked around to see why. At last the local wildlife biologist showed up! All the bears scattered out of town and into the woods. Sadly, all the locals received a long and boring lecture on how to protect their local shops from bears. Well, that is the most exciting event in this newspaper, today. Next time, think of the pizza-eating-bears when you sit down for a slice of cheesy pizza.
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